A year ago today, I was in Sydney, looking at a sky blow up in streaks of colours and sparks. Today, I am in my room in Brisbane, attempting (poorly) to blog. There is a box of finished Vietnamese rolls to my right. I’m feeling a little bloated and thick over all the Christmas food. Downstairs, my sister laughs over dinner with her friends. I’m headed to the city in an hour.
Tomorrow I will wake up, and it will be 2016. The earth would have done a complete orbit around the sun. I imagine calendars and clocks resetting in apartments, as people go about their day. It is both a surreal and anti-climatic notion to me.
To be honest, if there was one emotion I could use to describe 2015, it would be, “lonely.” Started the year with unresolved feelings, and a lot of anxiety. Since then, a lot has happened, but I can’t help but wonder if I’ve progressed the way I would have like.
I hesitate, still- to call it a “bad” year. To me, there isn’t such a thing. Bad and good happens in equal parts throughout the year. It’s all a matter of perspective. Every year grows you, in some way. 2015 certainly had its bumps, but all in all, I’m grateful for it. If there is only ONE single thing I achieve in the entirety of the year, it has to be something that pushes me out of my comfort zone, and adds to my experience and skill bank. 2015 certainly brought me plenty of opportunities to do so, and this is something I hope will equally challenge, and stretch me, in 2016.
Without further ado, here are a list of things I found memorable, in 2015:
Became a UQMSA executive
Joined UQMSA as a committee member. It took some time adjusting into the committee from ACYA’s climate (and I really loved working with the people there!), but all in all I really thank this association for giving me so many opportunities to be involves in causes beyond myself. We organise an insane amount of activities per-semester, and it has been a privilege working alongside so many passionate and intelligent Malaysians throughout the year. I am humbled and I’ve learnt so much. Thank you UQMSA!
Gave terrifying speech
Aligned with that, one of my earliest tasks was to give a terrifying speech in front of incoming Malaysian students as UQMSA’s Marketing Convenor. Was really nervous, and I apparently rushed and mumbled through it. I remember the crowd being cold and unresponsive. I felt terrible after. What an awesome way to start the year, haha
Guest speaker at Ignition
Gave a second public speech as a guest speaker at Ignition, a wonderful initiative for empowering people to share their dreams, interests, and passions. I presented on introversion, a topic close to my heart. It was well received, and generated interest and discussion. That day, I ran home with adrenalin in my blood, bells in my heart, and a lightness in my feet.
Conceptualised LEMAK, UQMSA’s first psychologically themed workshop, which looked into body image.
Malaysian Appreciation Night
Organised Malaysian Appreciation Night (M.A.N) alongside my beloved committee, which allowed me to remind myself why I loved Malaysia, despite everything falling apart back at home. I really enjoyed working on this. It gave me something to think about when my mind was drifting away into emotional troubles.
My Tiny Art Exhibition
Had my first ever art exhibition with RAWBrisbane, and actually sold art from it. Whuttttttt. This was pretty much one of the penultimate events for me, and it will be hard to top this. Will probably need a post on its own.
ABA Therapy Job Interview
Went for my first official job interview as an ABA Therapist and shockingly enough, got the role. Decided not to take it though, because not long after, I found out that I got into Honours, and I wasn’t sure how I would juggle the workload with all the travelling I had to do for this role. I still don’t know if I did the right thing, but I’m going to have faith. Nevertheless, the workshop was really eye-opening. Had the opportunity to work alongside a wonderful bright-eyed child, and I feel like this is something I can potentially do, for a career. If there is one thing I could take away from this, it would be; no one autistic child is the same.
ED FREAKING SHEERAN
I WAS AT AN ED SHEERAN CONCERT
Friends, New and Old
Made new friends whom I’d definitely like to keep in my life, and will hopefully have more opportunities to hang out with in the future! Some of these friends were made in completely unexpected places, like an online personality forum.Regardless, I hope I’ll continue to form new, meaningful bonds, and keep the old ones. Half the beauty (if not, all) of the journey lies within the people I’ve met, and will come to meet.
Heartbreak and Growth
Learnt more about myself, relationship wise. There is an important difference between love and lust, and being able to recognise that I was falling for my version of reality, not reality for what it was. This was a big struggle for me, and I continue to struggle, admittedly; but I think I know my convictions better now. I will not be ashamed of handling it the only way I knew how, as bumpy as it was. Finally, nothing feels as sobering and as freeing as clarity.
So all in all, 2015 was a challenging year, but I am thankful, every day, that I am where I am. Maybe I’m taking a little while longer than others to get to where I am supposed to be, and I still am not sure where I’m going, but one thing’s for sure-
Just. Keep. Swimming.
May roads and paths unravel beneath my feet, as I continue my journey.
What’s in store for next year? Whatever it is, let it be a good one. Thank you for being a growing year, 2015. Here’s to 2016. Cheers!